The Beast of Obstinacy

"The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't." - Henry Ward Beecher

I read this quote today and had to LAUGH! Caleb is so like this lately! He's had his fill of school and no amount of coercing is going to get him to cooperate fully! In fact, tomorrow is going to be his last day instead of finishing off this week. He's reached his max for the year! As far as the obstinacy, I need to do some research on what can help with this. I know much of it at school is just because he wants to be home for the summer, but there is also always a bit of the obstinacy every day. I saw online that one person even calls it 'ODD--Obstinate Dude Disorder'! Again, this made me laugh and perhaps will help me get through it a bit better :)

Our Spring Update

We've got school figured out for next year. Caleb will be in an autistic program 3 days a week, and then our home school 2 days a week. I'm quite excited about the autistic program because he was able to get into the "higher" one and thus will have a fantastic teacher and an environment where he'll be pushed. I pray that the summer will provide much needed rest for all of us, and that he will come back in the fall and "wow" them all!

Now for summer to begin.....

What a Great Day! Our Second Weekend of Easter :)

Today was a great day for Caleb! We visited some relatives for Easter dinner (a week late) and Caleb was excited to see them. He ran right up to cousin Skylere and gave her a big hug and then went through the house naming everything...."They have a TV, a lamp, a couch, etc." He really got into this visit with relatives, much to the delight of everyone! He also loved our Easter tradition of breaking confetti filled hollow eggs on each other's head (as you can see in the picture he let little cousin break one on his head :). It wasn't perfect, as we still had about 3 small screams when told "no", but otherwise it was a fantastic day! Mom and Dad actually enjoyed the visit and didn't have to play "Caleb police"!

Still Pondering About Next Year...

We're still in limbo about next year. We have kind-of decided to try the autism school (the one with the slightly older kids who are more at Caleb's intellectual level) for 3 days a week, while still main-streaming for 2 days. This will allow for more days in the regular school as behaviors get mastered in the autism school. This also forces our local school to work directly with the autism teacher, thus not letting them off the hook for a year or two. It also allows Caleb to keep his peer group that he's bonded with and also keep up with the 2nd grade curriculum (which he's able to do). SOOOO....what's the problem, you might ask? There might not even be an opening for him at the autism school. They are already 2 children over state limit, and they hope to open another classroom, but won't know for sure until summer. What if there's no opening for Caleb? What do we do then? I'm still always keeping homeschooling in my pocket as a backup. I have felt, however, that I have to try to make a go of the above mentioned plan because it would benefit Caleb the most. Homeschooling will be next though if the original plan falls through.

Caleb is a child who is reading nicely for first grade, but it's hard to assess how much he comprehends because answering questions is somewhat limited to simple words. He has tons of vocabulary, but for some reason answering questions is difficult. He's also adding and subtracting simple numbers like 1+9 or 6-3 , etc. He does great on spelling and sounding out words, and often takes his test by typing on wordpad instead of writing (since writing often makes him mad if the letters aren't perfectly formed). Last week he got 9/10 correct! He knows how to tell time to the hour and 1/2 hour, but money still is a bit of a struggle for him. He cuts, pastes, and does other motor skills quite well. And, he's been riding his bike all over the place! Truly, I often wish the teachers would see his wonderful skills as being amazing. The problem is that they just don't see how far he's come in such a short time, nor can they see beyond his often obstinate behavior. If he doesn't want to do something....he just won't! I don't know if this is autism, or a genetic trait passed down from my Dad :) Nevertheless....we press on with always the goal of enhancing the many skills he does have, and improving upon those areas he struggles. Someday he will be a man, and I want to have given him the best training for using his skills, and for coping with a world that is often difficult.

Decison Making

We went and visited the autism classroom at the elementary school. Although it was set up nicely and the staff was well versed in autism, it left much to be desired. Caleb was far and aways TOOOOO high for that class. He would be the only verbal child, and the only one working on reading skills and math. They suggested we look at the classroom for 3-5th grade autistic children. We went to that school and saw a much better fit for Caleb. It was set up more like a classroom and the children were working on actual educational goals...like reading and math. Because I'm still concerned about socialization, Caleb losing connection with the great class he has at our home school, and then our home school not being prepared for him to return in a year or 2....we are contemplating a dual enrollment. Caleb would be enroled at the autism school 3 days a week, and our home regular ed class 2 days a week with it written in his IEP that upon successful achievement of listed behaviors he will return gradually to his home school (regular ed). Hopefully by then the staff will have had some help in setting up his education to best suit him...not the teachers. That's really the problem. If they'd just look beyond the behaviors to focus on his education and how best to teach him...we'd have none of this crap. Instead, they all want to make it easier on themselves and get him out of the school. I'll have none of it! I'm not "dumbing him down" and taking away his best asset--that of incredible intelligence--so he can go be part of an autistic classroom where he's not pushed nor expected to succeed. This is a child who's on the verge of normalcy, but still struggles with erratic behavior at times. I would just love to see these teachers go observe some autism classrooms to see just how far Caleb has come! Sigh.....I may end up homeschooling yet! Let's face it...no one will see the good in my son like I will. I just don't want to do Caleb a disservice, so I continue to fight.

A Day of Disappointments

As I sit here, I can hardly believe that I'm writing this next blog about this topic, since it's only been a month since Caleb's "Most Improved Award". How different a couple of weeks makes sometimes... (not always for the positive)

What a day it's been.... We just got back from a meeting with Caleb's therapists. They are advising that Caleb be bused to a special autism school that's over an hour away. Not really because he can't fit here in our home school district, but because the staff and school are set up in such a way that we're all beating our heads against a wall. This staff of teachers are frustrating and infuriating. They are overmaxed with their numbers of kids, of that I understand. But....they just don't understand autism, nor are they willing to expend the extra energy setting things up to make Caleb successful. The therapists think Caleb could be much more independent, successful, and educated in the autism school than he could be in a school with this many red flags. One...his class size of 30.... two...his stubborn, unknowledgeable teacher (this is my addition), .... three... the lack of resources in our school......4...the complete change of all administrative personal for the second year in a row.... and the list goes on and on. One part of me wants to pull all of my children and put them in another school (and I would if my husband weren't considering applying for the principal job). Another part of me wants to make these subpar teachers "put up or shut up" so that the next autism family that comes through is more successful. But, the last part of me (the biggest part) wants to see Caleb successful and appreciated for who he is. And...if that's in another school, then so be it. I did tell my husband, however, that he had to promise me one thing....that my youngest twins WOULD NEVER have Caleb's current teacher for any grade! That he would appeal to the masses, if need be, so that I never have to deal with her again! You just can't teach a person, such as her, how to be compassionate or how to love each child just because they're human. Instead, she sees Caleb as a behavior problem, and a detriment to her quality of teaching. Thankfully, we have a number of months to decide which direction to take. We also plan on looking at nearby school districts to see what they have to offer. For now though...pray that we make the right decision!

An AWARD for Caleb!

We're SO excited! Caleb got an award for this marking period! He was MOST IMPROVED in his first grade class! We were a little sad that we didn't know anything about him receiving an award so we could attend the awards ceremony. But....nevertheless....we were thrilled at his acomplishment! Here's the picture we took of him at home with his new award :)